


A New Dawn

by Cheetara



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Comfort/Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 18:32:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5466806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheetara/pseuds/Cheetara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little story with a happy ending (don't want to spoil it too much!), hope you like it.</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="http://itwasthereaminuteago.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	A New Dawn

_“I’m sorry.”_

‘I’m sorry’, he said. Jesus Christ. You couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at how ridiculous that that line was after all that had happened. 

That was hours ago. Now you stroked gently at the hair falling across his face as he lay with his head resting on your lap, the two of you sprawled on the couch as the first tentative rays of the sun crept through the curtains onto the floor. He looked peaceful this time, like he was actually getting some real rest. Not the sleep where he was bearing and grinding his teeth, or shivering uncontrollably, sweat pouring from his brow and soaking through his shirt. 

I’m sorry.

Sorry that he called and woke you the night before.  
“Just come over,” you replied, hearing him huff out a breath on the other end of the line, “Right now.”

“I can’t keep doing this to you, I just…”

“NOW.”

And that was that. He knew better than to argue, but when he turned up on the doorstep with his apologies and dark hollow eyes you could feel your heart break all over again. 

“Come on, get in here.” you commanding tone slightly at odds with the paw print pajamas you had on. Closing the door behind him you wandered over to the coffee machine, switching it on. “Sit.”

He did. He still fell into obeying orders, even when he didn’t have to.

Bringing the two cups around and setting them down on the table, you sat beside him. 

“Let me get a look at you”. 

Through the mess of dark brown hair his eyes were shot red, and underscored with the purples and blues of lack of sleep. Or tears. Taking his hand and turning it over in yours, you saw the bloody knuckles and winced while he looked away, his gaze so distant. It was no use asking him why, there were never any answers that made sense, and that was okay. Sometimes you just needed to feel the pain. Except that there was already enough pain in his past to last a lifetime. 

His vest clung to his chest and back from the sweat that came with the nightmares. You rose without saying a word and disappeared into the bedroom for a time, on returning glad to see that he had drank some of the coffee.

He looked up, “Cinnamon.” he said.

You nodded and smiled. 

“S’good.”

“I’ve left some clean clothes and a towel out for you on the bed. Take a shower and I’ll make you some more, maybe fix up those cuts too.”

He moved to hug you and was surprised when you backed away. “Uh-uh! Shower first.” you said wrinkling your nose at him. You could have sworn you caught the smallest of smiles on the corner of his lips before he made his way into the room.

It was a semi-regular occurrence. Sometimes you wondered if you somehow anticipated when it was going to happen, when the phone would ring. When he’d finally plucked up enough courage to reach out and ask for comfort, for help. 

By the time he returned the fire was just taking in the hearth and you had grilled cheese and more cinnamon coffee on the go. He rubbed the towel roughly through his hair with one hand as he made his way back to the sofa, black sweatpants slung low around his hips, the olive green coloured t-shirt folded over his other arm. The metal one.

He swept the towel over it roughly and pulled on the shirt (which fit him surprisingly well, considering), edging closer to the kitchen counter where you stood. “Do I get my hug now?” He asked. You smiled warmly and threw your arms around him. As you embraced you were reminded just how well-muscled and strong he was. Gently rubbing your hand over his back, you felt him relax against you just a little. It might have seemed strange to some that a guy who appeared to be so kickass on the exterior could need so much emotional support. 

_“Thanks kid.”_ He whispered into the crook of your neck.  
“You know you don’t need to thank me, or apologise, I’ve told you already. Never.” You replied.

He buried his face into your shoulder and squeezed a bit tighter, still not letting go.

“Buck…” Your voice muffled as you were pressed into his shirt, “there’s grilled cheese –“

That made him finally relinquish his hold on you, looking ever so slightly sheepish as he took a step back. “Grilled cheese?” The growling reply from his stomach made you laugh.

Lifting the two cups of coffee you nudged him with your elbow. “C’mon and help me with this stuff to the table.”

* * * * * * *

After you bandaged up his hand, the drinks were drunk and snacks were eaten with only the lightest of small talk. Bucky pulled your legs up onto the couch and began slowly and carefully massaging your feet. If there was ever any payment for what you did for him this was all you accepted.

You knew the answer already but asked anyway. 

“Want to talk about it?” 

He continued to concentrate on what he was doing, working the arch of your foot with both hands, gently pressing with the pads of his thumbs and fingers. You were reminded of the first time you asked him to talk about it, later, as he slept by your side, you were shocked awake by the vice-like grip of his metal hand crushing your wrist bones as he fought in his nightmares. You had to go to A&E, he was so distraught and ashamed but you were more concerned for him than your broken wrist.  
It was difficult to imagine what Hydra had put him through, although you had built up a crooked picture from the small snippets he unloaded over the months with gradual coaxing – experiments, the breaking of his will, the memory wipes, and his eventual submission to his ‘handlers’. Those assholes Zola and later, Pierce, had done more than a number on Bucky. He was slowly starting to heal, but it would take time. And love. 

“Remember it’s okay if you don’t.” You added, unable to keep from tensing slightly as you anticipated his reaction. “We can just sit here.”

His hands stilled and he let go of a heavy sigh. His beautiful sad blue eyes searched the floor. 

“I just…I can’t – shouldn’t be like this.” He pushed the fingers of his mechanical arm through his hair, furrowing his brow, his eyes darting back and forth. _“I shouldn’t be like this.”_

You swung your legs around and shifted to sit next to him. “Bucky, you’re still you, no matter what they did, and there’s no should or shouldn’t for how you need to be.” 

He stared down at his hands, clenching them into fists. The grief was quickly morphing into frustration and anger. “I should be stronger than this…” 

“No.” 

You knelt down in front of him, taking his hands in yours, running your fingers softly over his in an attempt to calm him. “”You are strong Bucky, really…it’ll just take time. We’re here for you whenever you need it.”

He sighed again shaking his head softly. His hair falling back over his eyes. “I don’t deserve you doll, not after what I’ve done, the things I did.”

“You’re a good man Buck. You’ll be okay, I know it, and we’ll get there whatever it takes.” 

You climbed back onto the couch beside him and pulled him against you, squeezing tight. 

“Just...so tired….tired of fighting it…” He murmured.

“Then don’t.” You reached behind your head and grabbed the blanket that was there, shifting sideways slightly and pulling Bucky down onto your lap. “Lay down hon, you need to sleep.”  
He didn’t resist and you unfurled the blanket over him as he stretched out. “You’re safe. I won’t let anything hurt you, close your eyes.” 

You smoothed the hair back from his face softly and he made a contented sound. 

* * * * * *

The soft rays of sunlight kissed warmly at your feet and you felt your eyelids growing heavy. You had stayed awake all night, just in case. The sound of the front door opening soon jolted you fully awake and you turned to see Loki in the doorway, bathed in the dawn light.

You smiled and raised your finger to your lips signalling him to be quiet, as Bucky still slept. Loki stepped quietly towards the couch and peered over to look, smiling at you. He leaned in beside your ear and whispered. “Looks like he got all the beauty sleep, my love.”

You huffed and managed to clip his ear with your free hand. “Don’t try me when I’m tired Loki.” That mischievous grin crept across his face and infected you as he kissed you lightly on the cheek.

“How did the mission go?" You asked, "I wasn’t expecting you back so soon, I’m guessing it didn’t go to plan…

He strode back to the open door. “It went rather well my darling. In fact, I’ve brought something home with me… Rogers, please, do come in.”

Yours eyes went wide as Captain Steve Rogers walked through the door towards you, smiling politely. “Ma’am.” He said softly in greeting.

You shot an incredulous glance towards Loki who just had the biggest shit eating grin on his face.

As Steve walked around the couch his eyes blew even wider than yours when he saw who was next to you, still sleeping soundly.

“…Buck? Bucky - is that you?” He asked, his voice wavering slightly. He glanced at you with disbelief as you nodded in response.

You gave Bucky a gentle shake. “Hey, sleepy soldier, someone’s here to see you…”

Bucky’s eyes flickered open, he took a few long blinks and rubbed at them before he saw who was standing in front of him. 

“Steve…? Jesus fucking Christ, Steve!” Bucky was on his feet with his arms around his long-lost friend in no time. 

You felt so much relief and joy as you watched them, finally together after all these years, tears in both their eyes. 

Loki was suddenly behind you, lifting you up in his arms. “Come now, I think they have some catching up to do, and you need to rest.”  
You gave him the biggest smile ever as he carried you towards the bedroom, and stole another look at Bucky and Steve, still holding on to each other in the light.


End file.
